Lost In A World of Change
by Notebook Girl
Summary: Formaly James and Lily ForeverTwo teens with thier own troubles hate each other it seems. Can tragic events and Kismet bring them together?
1. Lily and Alec

A/N I offer you all humble apologises but Lily and James: Friends Forever was not going where I wanted it to and I had to redo it. This will be ten times better. Apologies!

            Lily woke in her bed in the girls dormitory at Ms. Marie's and Mr. Jenkins School for Young Ones. Her red cotton sheets looked as if she had never slept. She rolled over and  staring at the dark ceiling thought hard

            _Alec! _She called in her mind to her twin. They had always been able to do this. She didn't think much of it.

            _What Lil? It is 6:00!_

_            Do you have a weird feeling about today?_

It took her brother a while to respond she yawned and listened to the fat girl Jean Marie snore.

            _You know I do. Today is the day Ms. Howe visits _

            _Annnnnndddd_

_            C'mon Lily I trust her_

_            She sent us here!_

_            Still…_then a loud clanging was heard and the other girls stirred.

            _See you at breakfast._ Lily climbed out of bed, and smoothed her sheets. She ran to get the bathroom first and was dressed before the other five girls were up. Lily stuck her tongue out at the popular girl Heather who had awoke to find her hair green. 

            Lily didn't know how she could do this but it was useful. At breakfast Alec and her sat in the back of the Meal Hall as usual. Not talking or at least as far as anyone else could tell. You see Alec couldn't talk. He was dumb. However the odd things that happened to Lily also happened to him. 

            Today they really weren't talking however. They had to finish their toast quickly because Ms. Howe their social worker was coming.

            'I have a surprise for you two!' she said as the two red haired children entered the sitting room reserved for family visits. 'After nine years a someone finally wants to adopt you!' 

            Lily was silent and she heard Alec in her mind.

            _Wow Lil! Isn't that great!_

_            I dunno._

_            Oh you!_

_            Yes me!_ In the end she went up to her dorm to get packed

  In her red suitcase she put her clothes and her other meger belongings. A picture of her parents. Her mum was tall with hair like her children. Her dad short and bald. They had died in a fire when the twins were 1 year old. 

            Next she stuffed in her stuffed cat Emmie. She had a secret about Emmie. When she wanted it Emmie could become real and TALK. Only Alec knew this however. He had one too a dog Cleon. She guessed they had been given to her by her parents. She clutched the oval shaped locket she wore around her thin neck. It had a picture of Alec in it. At least they would be together.

            She sprung up on her thin legs. Lily and her brother were both slender she had green eyes and his were violet. Strangely they were both ambidextrous. She walked down the stairs and met Ms. Howe and Alec. She said good bye and thanks to the headmistress and climbed into Ms. Howes sleek black car.

            'I am going to take you to the home of your new family but I can't stay long. I have another case to handle.' 

            They drove through country and city. Alec kept his nose in a book and Lily fell asleep. 

            She woke from her dream of lying by a lake kissing a boy. She liked it and it was a reoccurring dream. But when she awoke she always wanted to wash her mouth out. All boys but Alec were gross.

            She woke to Alec tugging at her mind.

            _Lily LILY _**_LILY!_**

            She sat up and looked around. They were in front of a brick house. Two story with a wrap around porch. Lily stepped  out of the car and stared at the huge yard. 

            _I could play a nice game of football here._ She thought as she pulled her suitcase out of the trunk. As they approached the house Lily and Alec joined hands. Ms. Howe walked behind them as Lily thought _Flapping her oversized jaw_. 

            'They have a twelve year old girl and a four year old.' They walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. And just before the door opened Ms. Howe said,

            'Actually there is only the father and the children. Mrs. Evans died during three years ago.' 

            The door opened revealing a little girl of about five bouncing up and down like she had springs on her feet. 

            'Hi! I'm Rose! You're my new brother and sister!' Lily smiled. She had a weakness for young children and was sure they'd get along fine. Provided she liked to play catch. Behind her was a tall girl of about thirteen who looked as if her nose was permanently stuck in the air.  Her long straight blond hair went down to her butt and her yellow shirt had a noticeable curve in front. 

            _Ouch. She might be trouble/_

The three little girl spoke. Loudly.

            'DADDY' A man approached off a side room that Lily would learn never o enter.

            'Hallo there. Ms. Ah Haow you can go now I have sent the paperwork on.'

            'Alright then you tow I hope you like it here.' She stepped out the door and Lily felt a pang s her old life closed behind her/ 

            'Come now. I adopted you two because I want a big family. My Wife and I… Well also I have a little boooy and I thought you could help me with him. 

            He led them down a hall and opened a door. Behind it was a small bed toys and the cutest boy Lily had ever seen. His name was Benny and he was the sweetest kid you've ever met. 

Through the next month the two younger kids Lily and Alec became insuperable. Benny was very sickly. He tired easily used crutches and was tiny for his age. But the smile he gave Lily when she out him to bed was priceless. Her dad was scarcely seen but she and Alec fit right in. If Petunia would only jump in a lake. 

            Sirius Black sat on the steps of his current foster home. Waiting for Ms. Howe. His foster parents of the month the Kiljoys had been horrible. They had beaten him every time they got a chance and their fifteen year old son Todd used him as a punching bag regularly. He unconsciously rubbed his broken arm as the black car pulled up to the street. He jumped down the steps followed by his baby unicorn Brit. Brit was a dwarf unicorn and had powers. Sirius could talk to her and only Sirius.

            Ms. Howe helped him into the car and they drove off to another home. The Potners? The Powers? He wondered as he walked up to the door. Through out the ride he had had to listen to insufferable chatter about the muggle kids she had just gotten adopted. 

            Sirius was fond of Muggles. Odd as his parents were… well he liked to not think of that. His favourite foster mum had been Ms Johnson she was a muggle. 

            When the door opened it revelled a pale lady in a wheelchair and two kids. A short boy of about Sirius's age with messy black hair and deep black eyes and a girl about eight with brown pig tails. The lady smiled,

            'You must be Sirius. We are so glad you are here.' 

            'Hi' Sirius said shyly. He thought he liked her.

            'Hi Sirius I'm Melissa Jane Potter. Call me Alyssa I'm eight. Is that a unicorn? Do you like Quidditch? James is obsessed! Wanna go to the park?' she said this all in one breath. Sirius smiled.

            'Hi Alyssa. I'm ten. Yes.  I love quidditch. Great! Maybe later.' 

            'You like Quidditch?' James asked.

            'Yeah what position are you?'

            'Chaser you?'

            'At the moment bystander but usually beater.'

            James laughed. 'C'mon I'll show you your room. With that the two boys dashed up the stairs. They walked down halls and thorough doorways. Sirius gaped at the huge home.

            'So is your dad like a Galleonaire?'

            'Father is Minister of Magic.' James said softly

            'Whoa!' 

            James shrugged. 'It's annoying he is never home and when he is he is always working. Mum used to play with us more but now she is sick so it's boring. I couldn't wait for you.'

            'If you don't  mind me asking what is wrong with your mum?'

            'They call it mitocondritis. Basically her cells are not working right.

            Sirius nodded.   

            "That's tough.'

            ''Yeah the doctors don't know what to do so basically Alyssa and I make her happy. Hey wanna go fly?

            A/N yes I'm back. I had eye surgery Monday and couldn't see. I know you all might be mad at me but LJFF was going NO WHERE! This'll work I swear 


	2. I'm Remus

A?N Here comes more! 

            Remus Lupin waited  impatiently at Gringotts for hia mother and sister. He didn't like goblins they gave him the creeps so his mum had let him wait outside for her. As he watched the crowd an odd looking group passed. Two kids about the same hieght with red hair followed but a blonde girl of about five and a boy with curly brown hair humping along on crutches. 

            'Where do we go Lil?' he heard the little girl ask.

            The girl who Remus now relized was covered in freackles replied, 

            'I dunno Rose.' Remus relized the must be muggle born and called to them.

            'Hey you!' They looked around. 'Yeah you you need help?' The group rushed iver to him and he noticed the older boy scoop up the young one who was sweating, 

            'Thanks.' The girl siad.

            'No problem. I fyou come with me I'll show you where to go.' I led them into Gringotts as much as it pained him and found his Mum.

            Ms. Lupin was rather young with short redish blonde hair and a lively sprit. His sister Cleste was thirteen and an expert on everything. Literally. She had skipped up to fourth year at Hogwarts. She had wavey brown haur and glasses and Remus envyed her.

            Not just because she was smart but because she had not been biten. It was none other than his own father that had bite him. Dad had usually stayed in the woods. Mum had left the door open Remus had snuck out he was only two. His dad had apperantly smelled him and the rest was history. His dad had felt so bad that he had killed himself with a silver bullet. 

            Remus shuddered at the memory and introduced his family to the Evans'. His Mum took their money and had it changed for them. They spent the rest of the day together and at the end of the day Ms. Lupin treated them all to ice cream. Lily with her cat Ebony in her lap was quite taken with Ms. Luopin.

            'I'm Muggle born myself. I work in the muggle world. Truthfully they pay better.' She winked and Lily laughed. Remus turned to Alec who was watching the little ones play with a talking storybook.

            'you looking forward to Hogwarts?' Remus asked. Alec nodded. He them took out a smalll black notebook he took everywhere and wrote,

            **Esspecially history of magic**

            'They say that's really dull.'

            **I don't care. I love history.           **

'Yeah. I like it too.'

            'Boys we have to go now. Lily do you want me to give you a lift home?' 

            'That'd be great. We live in Notting Hill. If that's not to out of your way?'

            'No of course not sweetie. I'm one of the few witchs who uses a car. We live over in South Kensington so we'll  drop you off.' So they piled in the car Remus ended up next to Lily.

            'Do you play sports?' she asked

            'Yeah Football. Why?'

            'Really? Me too! I love football.'       

            "Cool. Wanna met in the park tomarrow and play?'

            'I'd love to but I can't.'

            'Why?'

            'I have to watch the kids. My snobby sister has a date and Alec watched them last time.'

            'Well maybe I'll come over then? Where'll your dad be.'        

            'On a date he has this like twenty year old girlfriend whom none of us but Peatunia can stand.'

            'Eww.' Remus saw Alec nod. 

            The lights were on when they approached the house. 

            'Thanks for everything Ms. Lupin. See you tomarrow Remus.' Lily called as they pulled away. 

            When they entered the house  Cindy was there she was a borrle blond with a flimsy dress. Lily despised her with a passion. Peatunia and her were of course buddy-buddy.And Peatnia was daddy's girl 

            'Hello how was it?' her dad called.

            'Fine' she called as she and Alec ligged their purchases up the stairs.     

            The dsays before Hogwarts passed s;ow;y for Lily. She passe the days by reafing her text books to the younger chikdren andd playing football with Remus. 

            One afternoon she was watching Benny watch the others play and she just startd crying and she didn't know why. Lily Evans didn't cry. She fled upstairs to heer bedroom. It was painted yellow and let the sun in. 

            She st on her bed and cried until she heard footsteps. Omeone sat on her bed and she looked up to see Remus. 

            'Hey, what's wrong? 


	3. Carrot-head

A/N Hahahaa kept you waiting. I was busy but get used to is I a going to an International Baccalaureate school next year but I will try to keep writing!.

            'What's wrong Lily?' She turned to see Remus behind her.

            'Oh nothing emus. Just the thought of leaving Benny. He gets sick so often. I might have to leave a lot. It'll be hard to keep up.' 

            'I understand. I'll help in any way.'

            'Thanks Remus. Thanks ever so much.' 

            Remus kept coming over and sometimes she went over to his house. His Mum she found out worked nights at a local mall. Some times she and Remus and Alec would spend time there. Much of the time they would spend a fair lot of  time  in the bookshop and then head for sports. Remus took the time to explain to Lily and Alec about Quidditch, 

            'I dunno a game played on brooms? Sounds a bit dodgy.' Lily scoffed. 

            _Only cause you are afraid of heights._

            'Shut up Alec.' Alec smiled and Remus stared round eyed.

            'How? What?' Lily turned to him and blushed.

            'We have a sort of ESP.'

            'Oi. That's creepy. But Okay I guess.'

            Before the gang knew it it was time  for Hogwarts. Lily said a tearful good bye to her brother and sister. Hugged her dad and pulled Petunia's hair.      

            She got a ride with Ms. Lupin and Celesta kept raving about this third year Ravenclaw named  Fredrick McKinnon. Alec had his nose in A Complete and Unabridged History of Goblins updated every other week.

            Lily looked pale and had confided in Remus she was not good with long voyages. 

            Indeed by the time thy arrived at Kings Cross and entered Platform 10 and 3.5's (A/N this does play a part in he story later on.) Lily was looking quite green. She took a moment to catch he breath and collect herself the gathered her trunk and raced off. Remus and Alec rolled their eyes t each other. She was _such_ a show off.

            They found a compartment at the end of the train and settled. Te waved good bye to Ms. Lupin and they were off. 

            Five minutes after the train started the door slid open to reveal two boys. One had chocolate eyes and messy black hair. The other was taller and had shoulder length black hair. 

            'Hello.' The first boy said a bit of snobbish drawl to it. 'I'm James otter.' He had an air of importance but she thought e might be okay.' The other spoke,

            'Hello all! I'm Sirius! Sirius Black. Who'd you be?'

            'Remus Lupin. Aren't you the Ministers son?'

A wave of something Lily couldn't tell what washed over his face 'Yes I am. Who are you?' the comment was directed at Alec.

            'He's Alec Evans.' Lily spoke up.

            ''S' amatter can he not speak for him self?' The boy. James drawled.

            'No. Alec. Alec is mute.' Lily said coolly. 

'Terrible sorry. Didn't know.'

'But he can hear you you know.'

'Right sorry Alec.' Alec nodded.

            _Calm down Lils_ for Lily's face was matching her face. _You don't even hardly know how to a wand._

_            Who needs a wand? If it doesn't work,  I took Tai Kwon Doe! _And before Alec could stop her she took out her wand and muttered something. James' body snapped together and he fell to the ground.

            'Sorry. Didn't know it would work Finite Incantatum.'

            'Damn right you didn't he snarled. By he sat down. 

            Not long after a girl entered she had curly brown hair that was cropped short. She was of average height and had black eyes.

            'Hello. Mind if I join you?' Everyone said they didn't mind at all.

            'Name's Gwen. Gwen Prewwet.' She sat down and she and Lily became quite well acquainted. When they were maybe almost tree hours away from Hogwarts Lily was amazed. She was feeling okay. She and Gwen were in the middle of a game of Gobstones when Lily felt something odd when she stood up to  was Gobstone gook off. She fell.

            Her legs were wobbly. She heard Remus mutter,

            'Finite Incantatum' A spell then. She thought back to a book she had read. 

            'Jelly legs. Potter!'

            'What is wrong Fire Inferno Hair?'

            'POTTER'

            'Do you prefer Carrot Head?' Lily got up and tackled him. This resulted in a rather energetic squabble. Before long Gwen Sirius and Alec were playing Exploding Snap.

            'Knock it off James. I'm trying to concentra-' Sirius hand blew up leaving his face covered in ash. 

            'Lily give it up. You can knock the crap out of James some other time.' Remus said. The battle raged until a rather fat boy poked his head in.

            ''Scuse me can I hide in here? A boy named Snape is trying to curse me.'

            The two warriors looked up and broke apart. Kames had a black eye and limped a little while Lily's lip was cut and her hair was _PINK_

            'Finite I" (A/N you get the drill)

            'Oh Rat face? Where are you? A boy peeked in and upon seeing the boy he smiled.

            'Ahh there you are! I was looking for you!'

            'Don't hurt him.' Lily and James both sent a spell his way knocking him backward.

            Train stopped abruptly and they filed off. 

            'Firs' years this way!' A voice boomed. The followed it and got to Hagrid. He led them to the boats. 

            Remus Alec and Lily were in one; and James Peter Sirius and a boy called Mundungus Fletcher were in another. Lily was awed at the sight off Hogwarts but as they approached she got a bit seasick.

            'What's wrong Carrot top? Bit too much for you?' she stuck her tongue out at James. Before being sick again. 

            She was quite pale when they entered the castle. Partly because of course of nerves. 

            _Wonder what they'll do to us?_

            _I dunno._

            When Hagrid left them with Professor McGonagall he sighed. Only forty nine this year Professor.

            'I know Hagrid. I know.' 

            _Why?_ This thought she didn't send to Alec however. They filed into the great hall and she saw a a _hat?_ It twitched ad began to sing. 

            {I am no good at this. Any ideas?}

When it finished the sorting started.

            'Aberson, Yale!'

            'Ravenclaw!'

            'Black, Sirius!' Lily thought. _Sirius seems okay. But he doe hang out with James. Stills_ Her thoughts were interrupted

            'Gryffindor!

            'Boatner, Tyler'

            'Hufflepuff!'

            'Dennet, Ned' 

            'Slytherin!'

            'Evans, Alexander!' Alec walked slowly forward.

            'Gryffindor!'

            'Evans, Lillian' Lily cringed at the sound of her full name andfelt quite sick again as she walked to  the hat.

            'Ahh twins! Well my dear. Feeling better?'

            'Ah yes.'

            'Good. Good. Now down to bussiness. Quite smart I see. Cunning. And bravery yes. Very much so! Better be Gryffindor!' Lily breathed a sigh of relief. As she sat down next to her brother.

            Before long 'Fletcher  Mundungus!' Was made a Slytherin and then,

            'Lupin Remus!' The hat took a while wit Remus before finally deciding on,

            'GRYFFIDOR' lily cheered and cat-caled as er friend slunk down next to her. 

            Then the three P's came up,

            'Pedigree, Peter!' (A/N Slytherin! J/K)

            'Gryffindor!' Peter tripped but got to the Gryffindor table in time for James.

            _Anything but Gryffindor!_

            'Gryffindor!' :Lily moaned.

            Prewwet, Gwendolyn!' This time Lily was praying for Gryffindor and,

            'GRYFFINDOR!' Lily cheered and hugged Gwen. 

            Good as the food was Lily picked at it and went to bed very tired that night.

A/N YEAH the sorting is over now to the good part!    
 


	4. Transfig

A/N sorry for the wait! 

            The morning after the sorting Lily woke up with an empty feeling in her chest. Sure she had been at boarding school after boarding school but that was before. Before she had a family. Well Alec was her family but she now had a dad. Sure he never really said _love_ but she knew he had grown to love them. And then there was Benny.

            She missed him with all her _dingdingdingding_. That would be the bell. She sat up and opened her curtains. 

            'Wha time is it?' slurred Gregina the girl in the bed next to Gwen.

            'Seven!' Lily bounced out of bed.

            'You're a morning person?' Gwen exclaimed, 'I'm friends with a morning person?'

            'No. Not normally. Just today.' She felt Alec was still asleep.

            _Wake up wake up wake up!_

            _Who gave you sugar at seven o clock? _

            She ignored her brother and was the first in the shower. She wasn't sure why she was so hyped up.  

            Then as she and Gwen entered the hall she knew. The excitement of starting at a new place. She sat down next to Alec and Gwen and across from Remus. 

            'Morning Lils.'

            'Mornin' Rem.'

            'Ohh Carrot's got a boyfriend eh Remus?' Remus blushed bright red. Lily didn't see this but she stood.

            'He's not my boyfriend. He's just a really good friend.' She studied her course schedule missing the crestfallen look on her best friends face.  

            "Class. Attention!' The transfiguration teacher shrilled. She was new she used to teach Defence Against The Dark Arts until Dumbledore became Headmaster. 

            'Now to transfigure and object you have to rearrange the particles of an objects matter...' McGonagall droned on and on but Lily didn't understand it at all. 

            She was nearly in a stupor when McGonagall said,

            'Ms. Evans are you aware we have dismissed class?' Lily shook herself out of it,

            'Yes Professor.' She grabbed her books and blushing raced in to the corridors.   

            Their next class was Charms and Lily approached it with dread. The teacher was a tiny man who came up to Lily's shoulder despite the fact she was about 4'0. When they had sat down he squeaked.

            'To-day class we will learn how to  turn a feather blue. Just concentrate and say Aquas Opius can everyone say that?'

            'Aquas Opius' Chorused the class. Potter raised his hand. 

            'Yes young Potter.?'

            'Pardon me sir but is that all? I mean  in Transfig-'

            'Yes but do I look like Professor McGonagall?'

            'No but-'

            'Well then do as I say.' Potter blushed and Gwen and Lily burst out laughing. 

            _And you would like him laughing at you in transfig?_

_            Transfig? _

_            Abbreviation._

_            Oh_

            'Now class you may try.' Lily tapped the feather and muttered the charm and to her surprise it turned a bright shade of blue. 

            'Oh look class Ms. Evans have done it,' Professor Flitwick announced. Next minute Lily's friends were cheering and she smirked at Potter who was across the class sulking. 

            'Hey everyone!' He shouted. 'Aquarius Octimus.' And with that he had a chicken on his stomach, The whole class laughed. Alec who smiled and Lily heard him think.

            _So I don't take my own advice._

            That night Lily wrote to Benny and Rose.

_Hey Guys!_

_            It sure is awesome here. I am seeing things I once thought were impossible. I turned a feather blue today. _Before_ James Potter who is a total dickhead_ _pain in the backside. Alec Go AWAY okay so anyway he is a pest. Prof. McGonagall teaches transfig. (Transfiguration) and I hate her Transfig. Is TOOOO hard!_

_How are things at home? Has Dad gone mad without us yet? Have you done anything to Petunia? I.e. Short sheets, pink hair etc. If not GET GOIN'!_

_                                                            Love Always,_

_                                                                        Lily._

A few weeks later she got this reply,

_Dear Lil,_

_It sounds awesome there. Dad is okay but we hate his girlfriend Melinda. She is a pain. She hates kids  Benny is okay for once but we miss you. How long till Christmas??_

_                                    BENNY and Rose._

Lily smiled as she read it there were two whole months till ChristmasShe was lying on her stomach on her bed and Gwen heard her giggle. 

'What's up?'

'Nothing just a letter from home.' Gwen smiled and read over Lily's shoulder.

'What does it mean Benny is okay for once?'

'That's my brother. He's ill a lot.' 

'oh.'

'Wanna see a picture of him?'

'Sure.' Lily rummaged through her trunk headfirst grunting and cursing until she came upon a photo album  she bounced back next to Gwen.

'Here.' She opened it to a picture of Benny.

'Awww.'

'I know.'

'Your lucky. I live with my Grandma.'

'Yeh. I guess I am lucky.' Lily grinned then turn another page in the album.

A/N two weeks till schools out! I'll be able to write again.    


	5. Lils Are You Okay?

            Lily was suffering through a transfiguration class when a sudden pain coursed through her head. She cried out. McGonagall was in the middle of a lecture when it happened. The whole class turned and looked at her. She blushed and winced.

            'Professor?' She whispered. 'May I go to the hospital wing? I don't fell good.' The inexplicable pain was worse now and it was hard for her to focus on what the professor next said.

            'What is wrong Lily?' The teacher asked crisply.

            'My head hurts something massive.' She said. Alec looked at her strangely. 

            'Well... Can it wait Ms. Evans?'            Lily looked up at the teacher. McGonagall looked at her closely and saw how evident the pain was in the girls face. McGonagall's coolness seemed to ease. 

            'I guess Lily. Hope you fell better. Mr Lupin please escort Ms. Evans to the Hospital wing.'

            'Yes ma'am.' Lily and Remus stood. When she exited the classroom Lily slumped agianst the wall her face pale and her eyes closed.

            'Lily!' Remus exclaimed. 'Are you okay?' Lily's eyes flickered open. 

            'Do I look okay?' She asked incredulously.

            'No. Sorry.' Remus was sheepish. 

            'Kay, could you please help me to Madame Pomfrey?' she asked her voice was merely more than a whisper. Remus grabbed her arm and led her down the halls. 

            It seemed like an eternity to Lily until they reached the Hospital wing. Remus lead her to the door and to a bed she flopped on it and moaned. The sudden landing had made the pain worse. 

            'Madame Pomfrey!' Remus shouted. Lily moaned. She tried to reach to Alec but that made it worse. Madame Pomfrey approached. 

            'What's wrong here?' 

            'Lily is ill. Says she has a massive headache,' Remus explained. The nurse turned to Lily. 

            'Lily dear what happened?'

            'I don't know. I was in class and all of a sudden my head exploded. Worse than any headache I've ever had. And I would know I got migraines when I was seven.'

            'Mmm' Pomfrey's mouth tightened. She shined a light in Lily's eyes and felt her head. Using her wand she ran a few x-ray/MRI like tests. When she was done she gave Lily a couple of potions. One for pain and one dreamless sleep potion. 

            When Lily awoke she was groggy the pain in her head was still there but dulled by the pain potion. Faces swam above her and voices reached her ears.

            'She's waking up!'

            'Lily can you hear me?'

            'Lils? You alright?' She blinked and things came into focus. Alec, Gwen, Remus, and Sirius were standing over her. She struggled to sit up and Remus helped her. When she did she noticed James over off to the side. 

            'Hi guys.' She said.

            'Lily!' they said loudly and Lily winced. 

            'Please guys keep it down.'

            'Sorry.' Gwen grinned at her. 'Professor Flitwick missed you!' Lily managed a shaky grin. Then she spoke to James.

            'Hey! Potter! Come to torment me?'

            'No Carrot head just making sure I don't have to write and eulogy.' He grinned. They chatted for a while and Lily apologized to Remus for snapping at him.

            'That's okay Lily. I know you were hurting.' After awhile Lily felt the potion wearing off and she told her friends this. They left and Alec stayed. James lingered for a minute. 

            'You sure your okay Carrot Head?' 

            'Yeah. I'll be alright.'         

            'Good. Well I gotta go do the finishing touches on my Transfig, Homework.' He left and Lily shook her head and winced. Madame Pomfrey entered with another pain potion. Lily downed it gratefully.  Alec looked at her and reached out for her.   

            _Lily!_

_            What??_

_            I got a letter from home today,_

_            That's nice_ Lily was getting tired and she lay back on her pillow.

            _Lily listen to me._

_            What?_

_            Benny's sick again. He wants you._ Lily bolted up right and out of bed.

            'Madame! Madame! I need to see Dumbledore!' The nurse ran in.

            'Ms. Evans what's wrong? Are you delirous?' she bustled around feeling Lily's forehead.

            'No! I need to see Dumbledore its my baby brother he's sick.' 

            'And you're not?'  

            'I'll manage!' with that note she grabbed Alec and headed for the teachers lounge. When she opened the door she ran into Professor McGonagall who looked astonished.

            'Ms. Evans why aren't you in bed?'

            'Per-per-personally reasons' Lily blushed sweating. This Professor could make you feel like an ant.

            'Uh huh.' McGonagall eyed her warily. When she left Lily was near tears. Alec hugged her protectively. 

            _You okay? _

_            Yeah._ She breathed and then opened the teachers lounge door. Dumbledore was in there. 

            'Professor! Please we need to go home for a few days our little brother is sick, he only seems to get better when I'm around. Not to brag but he loves me and I need to go to him so does Alec can we go?' She said this all very fast.

            'Ms. Evans is it? Please repeat that more slowly!' She did and he was nodding. 'I think that can be arrnaged however Professor McGonagall told me you were feeling poorly.'

            'Yes Professor. I have a headache I can't seem to shake but that is of little importance.'

            'Are you sure?' He looked at her with all knowing eyes.

            'No,' she admitted 'but I have to go.' He nodded. Well from my office you can floo out and since you all are of magic blood you are on the network.'      

            'Huh?' The twins had no idea what floo was.                       


	6. You Came!

  
Lily landed onto her family room floor all to sure she hated floo powder. Her stomach churned, and she had to swallow hard several times before she could stand. Alec helped her up, and they went to the door of her father's office. Lily knocked.  
  
"Enter." The voice was achingly familiar. They went in, and Lily wished she had a camera to capture the look on her father's face.   
  
"Lily? Alec?" They nodded.  
  
"Thank God. Benny has been begging for you, and there was no way to explain to that hard head you couldn't come. I missed you." Lily smiled. Then her smile faltered.  
  
"Dad. Do you have any Tylenol?"  
  
"No just aspirin in here why?"  
  
"Darn, aspirin makes me hurl. Alec can write you I'm headed for the bathroom." Alec took out his notebook, and Lily raced off. She was digging through the medicine cabinet when Rose entered.   
  
"Petunia?"  
  
"WRONG!" Lily stood up slowly, careful not to bounce as she swallowed the pill.  
  
"Lily!" Rose jumped on her.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, down girl, please, I'm not feeling great."  
  
"Oh. What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, where's Benny?"  
  
"In his room." Lily raced off. She opened the door slowly, and saw the boy was sleeping. She ran over, and smoothed his hair back. His forehead was on fire. She kissed him, and he opened his eyes.  
  
"Hey there!"  
  
"Lily?" He asked. "Is that really you?" She nodded and he smiled.  
  
"Daddy told me you couldn't come. You were at school."  
  
"That's right." She kissed him again. "So what's going on? Broken leg? Appendicitis?" He giggled.  
  
"Nope, my head is hot and my throat hurts." She sighed. This had probably started as a cold. Benny had little immune resistance. She sat on the bed next to him.   
  
"Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?" He smiled sleepily. "Go to sleep kiddo." She hummed a lullaby her mum had sung to her, and he drifted off. She was putting a cold compress on his head, when her dad entered.  
  
"Lily-Billy?"  
  
"Yeah dad?"  
  
"Don't overdo yourself this time huh? The rest of us can help."  
  
"I know, but he always gets so upset when I leave."  
  
"I know… Are you feeling okay?"  
  
"I'll survive."  
  
"That's not what I asked."  
  
"I'm okay for now."  
  
"Okay, but if you need a rest just tell me."  
  
"Okay Dad, I will." He started to leave.  
  
"Dad!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Thanks for worrying about me. Oh and, when did Benny last have a Tylenol?"  
  
"He should be due for one. The Doc says he had a bronchial infection. Should pass." She nodded. She spent the next three days nursing Benny. One afternoon, she missed her Tylenol, and the pain caught her. She collapsed.  
  
She came to in her bed feeling better than she had in days. She sat up, and saw her dad sitting next to her.  
  
"Dad?"   
  
"Lily, you're up!"  
  
"How long was I out?"  
  
"Six days."  
  
"Benny, is he okay? I need to get back to school! What hap…"  
  
"Slow down. Benny is much better, and I have notified your school."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Now, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine."   
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really…"  
  
"Really Really?"  
  
"Really Really."  
  
"Really Really Really?"  
  
"Really Really Really."  
  
"Good." She got up and changed after her dad left. Then she went to Benny's room. He was sitting up, and when he spotted her he shrieked.  
  
"Lily! You are up!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You were sick!"   
  
"Yup."  
  
"You went to school!"  
  
"Uh, no." She sat on the bed next to him, and looked into his eyes.  
  
"Are you messing with me? Are you messing with me?" He shook his head and she started tickling him. He laughed his head off. Alec had already gone back to Hogwarts, and she joined him two days later.   
  
It took her a week to labor through her make up work, and even then her mid year transfig grade was failing. She finally realized she needed help, so she mustered up her courage to ask.  
  
"James?" She asked him in the common room one night.  
  
"What?"   
  
"I was wondering if you… you…"  
  
"I what?"   
  
"You could help me with Transfig." She blurted out.  
  
"Well… alright."   
  
"Thanks… Wednesday night?"  
  
"Sure carrot, sure."


	7. DADDY NO!

Thanks to my Beta!

  
         The Christmas holiday approached slowly for Lily… Amazingly slowly. She spent all her time doing schoolwork Her tutoring sessions with James were helping enough for her to squeak by. He was surprisingly patient with her. One night she asked him if he wanted payment.  
    "Nah, but could you help me with charms?"  
   "Sure." So with that agreement, a small truce between the two rivals was set. Not a friendship, and not an alliance, but a truce.   
This was the highlight of Lily's time before Christmas. She had to work so hard on her schoolwork that she had little time to spend with her friends. When she did, she found herself envious of them and their perfect lives Gwen lived with her Grandmother and her little brother and she was always telling stories of evenings spent by the fire with a kitten in her lap.  
Remus and his family were happy. His mom was so cool. James and Sirius had each other, and always had stories of mischief.   
So in the end, Lily spent most of her time studying or drawing. She could draw better than anyone in her year. She had copied the picture of her parents, and drawn Alec in color, getting the shade of his eyes just right.  
Christmas came, and she welcomed it more than anyone knew. She had missed her family, and would have given anything to get away from schoolwork. On the train, she was more open with her friends than she had been in weeks. After a rousing game of Gobstones, almost everyone fell asleep. Not Lily. She stared out the window, and soon Remus came and sat next to her.  
"Lily. Are you okay?"   
"Yeah, why?"  
"It's just that lately you've been withdrawn, ever since your brothers illness."  
"I'm fine, okay?"  
"All right Lily." Remus wasn't so sure.  
_______________________________________________________________________  
When Sirius and James arrived at the station, Venny, their butler, was waiting for them with Alyssa.  
"HI!!" Alyssa shouted when she spotted them.   
"Hey." James answered. "How's mum?"   
"Well, young James, she is doing well. She really wants to see you two." Venny answered with a smile that didn't reach his blue eyes.  
"Well then, what are we waiting for? Lets go!" They got home an hour later, and James and Sirius raced to Ms. Potter's room.  
"Hey Mum!" They shouted.  
"There are my boys! How are you?"  
"Fine Mum, you?"  
"Oh, fine." She said evasively. James caught this in her tone, but he kept his mouth shut.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
The twins' homecoming was slightly different. Their whole family was there. Petunia was standing off to one side, pretending not to know them. The kids were so excited that Rose fell over a trolley, and their dad was all smiles. Lily warned Benny to slow down as he had been ill, and her dad said:  
"You are one to talk Lily."  
"What do you mean? I'm fine!"  
"Oh really? Did you see your marks, or am I blind?"  
"Oh… that…"  
"Yeah, that." Her father said sarcastically.  
"I will do better next semester. This was only the first one. Give me time!"  
"Okay Princess, but don't let this conversation be repeated during the summer. Do you hear me young lady?" He looked at her ferociously.  
"Yes sir. I hear you" I just hope I can keep the promise. She thought wistfully as they got into the car.  
'Of course you will.' Alec said.  
'I didn't realise that I was talking to you.'  
'Well, I cannot read your mind'  
'You think you can.'   
'I do not!'  
'Do.'  
'Don't!'  
'Do!'  
'Don't!'   
'Do!'  
'DO NOT!!'  
'DO SO!'  
"Dad, tell Alec to stow it!'  
"Alec, stop bugging your sister." Her dad did not think twice about scolding something he could not hear. It was a great thing that they had come to him when they were older because Lily could have used that to her advantage.  
'Daddy's little girl.'  
'And proud of it!'  
The rest of the ride home was silent.  
Their father's girlfriend was at dinner that night. Her name was Melinda, and they had been going out for a while. They were half way through the meal, when their father made in announcement.  
"Children… My wife Penny, and Benny's mother, has been dead for a long time now. I need someone. Melinda and I are going to get married." He waited for a second to see their reactions. Penny jumped up and hugged them. Lily jumped up too, but it was for a highly different reason.  
"Daddy, how can you do this to us? Don't we have a choice?"  
"Lily, Darling, I thought you would be happy! Someone else can take care of Benny."  
"I take care of Benny! She doesn't even like children!" And with that, she ran into her bedroom and screamed into her pillow.  
"What's wrong Lily?" That would be Emmie.  
"My dad is a bastard."  
"Now, don't be so harsh."  
"Hmph."  
"Well, what are you going to do?"  
"Um… Maybe I can go to Gwen's."  
"Benny wouldn't like that."  
"Yeah. I guess I'll stay." But she didn't want to.


	8. Friendless

A?N here it is chapter 8 I hope you like it! BTW I just read a great story called Lost in the Abyss by ShadowChild

Lily spent her days in her bedroom with Benny. Aside from him, she didn't talk to anybody. Her father tried to talk to her on several occasions, but he was ignored. She knew he was trying to make it up to her, but it wasn't working.  
She went over to Gwen's two days before Christmas. When she that there are she was welcomed by the mewing of about a million cats. The door opened to reveal a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes.   
"Gwennie! Your friend is here." He called blasting Lily's eardrums.  
"Okay, nerd bomber. I'll be right there."   
A moment later, Gwen appeared, curls bouncing.   
"Hi Lily! Why don't we go to my bedroom?"  
Lily nodded and followed Gwen up a flight of stairs. Gwen opened the door and revealed a somewhat normal bedroom with blue walls and an eleqently carved mahogany dresser with five hundred scrathes. Her wand was set on the dresser in a wooden box.  
"So… What is wrong?"  
"He is marrying her! She stinks! She couldn't care for Benny if her life depended on it!"  
Lily then started crying. Gwen hugged her for a while.   
"Maybe it won't be so bad."  
"Yes it will. She hates kids, and I'm surprised that she is even agreeing to this because Daddy expects her to care for Benny! All I know is that I have to stop this!"  
"Lily, who is going to listen to you? I mean, no offence, but we are kids!!!"  
Lily looked at her with shock in her eyes.   
"Some friend you are!" She whispered astonished.   
She opened her mouth to say more, but then it happened again. The pain was horrible, and she gasped.   
"Lils?" Gwen asked timidly.   
"Home." Lily croaked. "Please."  
"Okay. Hang on." Gwen made no haste in running to the doorway. "Granny! We need floo powder here!"   
She turned to Lily.   
"You want me to go with you?" Lily shook her head.  
"No. That's okay." Lily shook her head and then winced horribly. Gwen's Grandma appeared.  
"Girls, is something wrong?"  
"No Grandma, Lily just has to get home." Gwen said hurriedly.  
"Okay then, thank you for coming."  
"Th…thank you f… for having me." Lily said, trying to be polite. She then took the bag of floo powder. She walked out of the room as fast as she could.  
It was all she could do to keep from passing out in the fire.   
'Why is this happening again?'  
She landed and lay there for a minute, trying to keep conscious and not throw up. She then pushed herself up. She headed down the hall, and to the bathroom. She dug through the cabinet, and there, thank god, was Tylenol. She gulped it down, and started to search for signs of life.   
No one was in the study, so she went to the family room and lying on the couch was Melinda.   
"Where's my family?"  
"They went to take that little brat to the doctor. I think he is faking it."  
"You dumbass! He is four! How could he fake an illness? Hmm?"   
"Listen to me little lady. Don't talk like that to me! Soon enough I will be a governing body in this household, and you kiddies will never see your daddy again. Can you say Year Round School?"   
The door opened at that moment, and Lily raced off.   
_'Bitch.'  
She found her dad carying Benny up the stairs.   
"Dad?"  
"You're home early."  
"Migraine I think."  
She knew it wasn't. She had had those. But what was it then?  
"You okay?"  
"Uh huh. What's wrong with him?"  
"Cold. Fever. The usual."  
She nodded, followed them upstairs, and tended to her brother. His fever broke on Christmas Eve, and on Christmas he was well enough to go downstairs. Melinda had to go to her families on Christmas, and so it was only Lily and her family. __  
'Probably our last holiday without the Bitch.'  
'Be nice.'  
'Not possible.'  
They listened to the kids exclaim over presents. She felt better too, probably the rest she was getting at that moment she was reading a fairy tale book that her dad got her.  
Soon it was time to go back to Hogwarts. Lily was bored on the train. Gwen wasn't speaking to her, and the boys were off pranking Snape. She set her thoughts to that Peter Pettigrew. Ever since the first train ride he had tagged along with them, and it was quite annoying. The boys tolerated him, but she was suspicious.   
Remus hadn't been on the train, and she was worried. Celeste said he had flu, and so she was writing him of the events of the holidays.  
'To bad my dad doesn't know your mom. They'd love each other. Hope you are back soon.Lily.'_


	9. Your Mum, My Dad

            Remus was back the week after school started up again. He had gotten Lily's letter and he pulled her aside in the common room.

                   "You're right. They'd love each other.       "

                   "I know. But what can we do?       " 

                   "When's the wedding?       "

                   "August.       "

                   "Isn't June traditional?       "

                   "Miranda? Tradition? Ha.       " Lily scoffed. 

                   "Okay. I see you're point. I dunno Lils there's gotta be something we can do.       " Remus was thoughtful but he couldn't do aanything she knew it. But she could be wrong.

            Not much changed that term. Gwen wasn't speaking to her, Transfig was impossible. The usual. She went through her life like a robot defiantly not the carefree girl she used to be. Benny stayed health enough that she didn't have to go home but it always gave her stress headaches. 

            Easter they stayed at Hogwarts Lily spent her time frantically studying for exams. __

_            Hey Alec? She would ask pitifly_

_            Yeah Lillian? He would respond perturbed he only used her full name when he was majorly pissed. She decided almost against he wishes to ignore it.r _

_            What makes a Forget-me-not potion?_

_            Beetle legs and unicorn drool now if you'd payed attention…_

_Stow it Mr. Scholar_

 were her conversations with her brother. James continued to help her with Transfig and it helped a lot. She thought she might pass. McGonagall still didn't quite trust her and was constantly pulling her aside asking        "Did you get that? Misilosus for a pebble to become a marble? Everything else going okay?       " it was soooo annoying. 

            Things might have been better if she had someone to talk to but she didn't _Gwendolyn was giving her the cold shoulder and Alec was always reading history. He didn't need to study. He could do a spell just thinking of it and they were always powerful. Remus was gone over Easter the only other person in Gryffindor was Pettigrew. She didn't trust him he never said anything about his family or anything else he also depended on James and Sirius to help him with school work._

            To make matters worse the news about the happenings outside the stone walls was horrible. A wizard seemed to be gathering followers the deaths were high. Twenty since September. The first had been the Bones' the only survivior was a twenty year old girl who had hiden in a bomb shelter. Her parents had been in the ministry in the Department f Mysteries

            The other daughter was about to start at Hogwarts with them. It was horrible to think that  could happen to a girl her age. They said she had been found on her bed reading over Hogwarts A History. 

Summer came soon enough and it was time to pack bags for the year, Lily passed Transfig but barely her highest mark was in Charms of course. On the train home most kids were rowdy doing spells for the last time until September. Lily once again sat alone staring out the window. Then it hit her.

                   "Remus! C'mere.       " She exclaimed. Remus was startled she hadn't really talked to anyone in ages. He immeadeatly suspected she had another one of her headaches and rushed over.

                   "What is it Lils? Are you okay?       "

            She smiled and he breathed in a sigh of relief; he then became incredibly curious about why she had called him over.

        "Fine absolutely fine. I had an idea. If I can get my dad to take me to the mall tomorrow. And he sees your mom…       " 

                   "Lily Evans you are a genius.       " He marveled. Sure it was chancy biut if it worked…

                   "Tell McGonagall that!       " Lily interrupted his thoughts sarcasticly.

                   "And hopeless…       " he grinned. He had missed her these past months.

                   "You know if they got married we'd be related.       "

                   "Yeah. We would.       " He sighed.

                   "You sound dissipointed.       " She frowned hoping he wasn't upset.        "I know I've been a bitch but-       "

                   "No it's not that Lils. It's just that…       "

                   "Spit it out.       " She uttered her catch phrase and he smiled warmly.

                   "That I like you.       " He blurted. She looked at him cryptically.

                   "I'd hope so.       "

                   "No I like you in another way. I think I have ever since I met you.       " He sighed deeply a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. 

                   "Oh. Oh Remus. I like you like a brother. I don't like you like that, I'm sorry truly. I never knew.       "

                   "Oh. Okay. Well.       " He looked at his feet and cleared his throat embarassed. Lily watched amused as his ears turned bright red.

                   "Are you okay?       " she asked sympathy in her voice. 

                   "Yeah. I'm okay. I mean we could be siblings so…       " he stammered trying to mask his feelings,

                   "Right that'd be. Bad.       " They sat in silence the rest of the ride. 

That evening she approched her dad who was reading the news paper by the fire.

       "Dad?       " she asked timidly.

       "Yes Lily?       " he looked at her over the paper. She was dressed for bed in a long yellow nightdress and her hair was down to her shoulders.

       "Um you see you know my friend Remus?       "

       "Is that the little brown haired kid that always calls me sir?       "

       "Yeah. That's him. So anyway his mom works at the mall and I was wondering if you could take me there And. Pick. Me. Up. There tomorrow?       "

       "Sure. I won't forget this time.       " The last time he had left her at the movies for two hours before remembering. Lily was ready the next day. 

 "Pick me up in two hours.       " She said as she got out.

       "I'll be back in four hours.       "

       "TWO!       "

       "Okay okay. Testy are we?       "  sjhe ignored this and ran in. She made a beeline for the store Ms. Lupin worked at. It was relitivaly queit and Lily sat down on a chair in the corner. Soon Ms. Lupin joined her.

       "Hi. What's wrong Lily?       "

       "Nothing. It's just. Melinda.       " She sighed into her hands.

       "What'd she do this time?       "

       "Nothing. It's the fact that she breathes.       "

       "Lily…       " Ms. Lupins tone was that of a warning mother.

       "I know. That and McGonagall.       "

       "I had my troubles with her.       "  

       "She hates me. She thinks I am a hypocondriact and that I am depressed.       " She started to cry.        "Maybe I am.       " Her dad walked in to find her there still crying two hours later 

       "Lily? " he asked as they walked into the store. She looked up from her hands which were soping wet. As an attempt to collect herself she wiped away her tears.

       "Hi Daddy.       " She said with incredibly false cheerfulness. He sat down next to her. Ms. Lupin was helping a customer so the other chair was open. 

       "Lily what's wrong?       " she smiled brightly.

       "Not a thing. Her let me show you this cute shirt.       " She bounced up but he grabbed her arm.

       "Lil sit.       " She sat.

       "Wh_at?_       " she whined.

       "Lily have you been crying?       " he looked at her but she looked away.

       "No of course not why would I be crying?       " she said with a huge smile. Then Ms. Lupin came over,

       "Lily quite lying to your Da.       " She said soothingly. Lily glared at her.

       "Okay. Yes Dad I was crying.       " She admitted.

       "Care to tell me why?       " _Not__ Really!_

       "Mmm.       " She muttered.

       "LILY!       " Both of the adults said.

       "Okay okay don't have a cow.It's just…       " she breathed in hard.        "Just that with all that has happened this year. I guess I'm overwhelimed. You know starting Hogwarts, Benny being sick. Me being sick, my grades. So much has happened. Not to metion Melinda.       "

       "Yeah Lily about Melinda.       " _Here__ we go she is okay quit treating her like crap blah blah blah_.        "We canceled the wedding.       "

       "Oh so now you've canceled the…       " she drifted off. The shrieked.        "You canceled the wedding!!       " 

       "I thought you'd be upset.       " Her father said in all seriousness. Lily looked at him as though he'd grown another head and saw the grin on his face. 

       "Not me Penny will.       "  

       "Right that's for sure. Does your friend here sell suits of armour?       "

       "'Fraid not. All though ski jackets are quite hefty.       " Her dad laughed.

       "Sorry I haven't introduced myself I am William Evans       "

       "Rita Lupin. Pleasure.       " They looked into each others eyes for a moment before her father cleared his throat.       "

       "Er. Right then… our kids seem to get along well at school and uh maybe we could get them together….       "

       "Right for the kids sake. Say tomorrow at seven? Meet here?       "

       "Yeah sounds good. Rita.       " 

_Oh Alec… she called in a singsong voice._

_What? You need to know how to turn a sister into a brat? He spat at her._

_No… just to say sorry and that dad likes Ms. Lupin…_


	10. Blow Up

Lily sat on her bed, laboring over her Transfig. Essay... She didn't need to know the fundamentals of turning a train into an aeroplane. She didn't think she'd ever do it.   
'Explain how to move the molecules and also give two paragraphs about why this is a bad idea.'  
Lily knew the answer to that because it is totally useless.   
She tried to reach out to her brother as a distraction.  
'Alec? How are ya doing? How's Benny doing?' She asked cheerily.  
'Lillian Anne Evans, are you done with your Transfig. Essay?' He asked her abruptly.   
She scowled and replied:   
'Maybe, maybe not…'  
She avoided answering him very professionally. Okay so maybe not.  
'Get to work. I'm shutting you out.'  
He sounded exactly like a lecturing mother. She stuck her tongue out at him but it didn't work. He could always shut her out when he wanted to. She never seemed to be able to shut him out. She tended to send thoughts to him she had no intention of sending. Okay back to work. She was halfway through the first word when someone barged into her room. She looked up and saw Penny, her gray eyes radiating with rage... She stalked over to Lily's bed, kicking aside piles of clothes. Lily put down her quill tensely. She looked at her sister intensely, trying to figure out the meaning of this. Penny never entered her room. She saw her as a lower life form, someone who truly didn't belong in the family, who was really nothing more than a maid.  
"YOU! THIS IS YOUR FAULT." The older girl snarled through her nostrils.  
Lily kept her pale face blank.   
"YOU AND THE LITTLE BRAT!!! YOU MADE HIM DRIVE HER AWAY! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, I'D HAVE A NEW MOTHER. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE BRAT I'D HAVE A MOTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE!"   
She stared at Lily with ultimate rage on her pinched face. Lily gazed at her disbelievingly.   
"Did you just say that? Our little brother had no choice over what happened to your mother. Don't you ever say that."  
"HE IS MY BROTHER, YOU WITCH, NOT YOURS. YOU ARE NOT IN THIS FAMILY."   
Lily's short-fused temper had reached its end. She flung herself off the bed so hard the mattress slid two inches. She landed on top of the adolescent who had entered her room uninvited. She pulled at her hair and gave her a good punch in the eye.  
"You little idiot. How dare you say he is not my brother? I have practically raised the child. Did YOU sit up with him when he was sick fifty times in three years? Tell me, when did you last not get twelve hours of beauty sleep?"   
She was flabbergasted at how her sister thought this way. She gave her a right hook in the jaw. Then not to be beaten by a girl who was almost four years younger, the two rolled around the floor scuffling... Lily could not reach out for Alec because he still had her shut out.   
They fought on until something pulled them apart. As she was lifted into the air, Lily kicked and screamed intensely. She finally ran out of breath, and was held a foot above the ground by an invisible force. She stopped fighting it, exhausted. She looked around for her captor, and saw her father and Ms. Lupin standing ten feet away in the doorway.  
Ms. Lupin had her wand out toward them. She gently lowered it, and both girls floated to the ground. Lily tried to lunge at Penny again, but an electric bolt from the wand stopped her. She fell back onto the bed, the sharp quill she had thrown down carelessly not long before sticking her in the back. She moaned involuntarily realizing how she was hurt. Her eye was blackened and she had a cut in her arm. She raised it slowly, and saw from the shape of it that…  
"She bit me! She must have fangs!" She exclaimed.  
Penny snarled at her.   
"Shut up Pen the Magic Dragon." She scowled.  
"Okay enough you two!" Her father bellowed. They both turned their heads to look at him, and Lily slowly sat up. Her father's face was red.  
"Dad, remember your blood pressure." She said cautiously.   
His last reports had been high. Her father took a deep rattling breath.  
"You're right Lily. Penny come with me. Rita could you please knock some sense into my daughter?"   
Before Ms. Lupin could answer, Lily spoke up.  
"Um, Penny took care of the knocking part!"   
She smiled lightly trying to joke her way out of it. They all ignored her and her father dragged Penny away by the arm.   
Ms. Lupin came and stood next to the bed. She moved some parchment to the oak nightstand and sat down. Lily turned away from her staring out the window. She had the curtains drawn so that the other kids in the backyard didn't distract her, but they were light yellow and let the light in.  
She hung her head waiting for an explosion like what normally came from her father. It didn't arrive. When nothing had been said for about half a minute, she apprehensively looked up. Ms. Lupin was looking at her with kindhearted eyes.   
"Lily, why did you try to kill your sister?"   
She went straight to the point.  
"She said… She said…"   
Lily took a long shuddering breath.   
"She said I wasn't Benny's sister, and she said that he was responsible for her mother's death."   
She said all this slowly biting her lip as she finished. Ms. Lupin put an arm around her, and drew Lily to her. Lily buried her face in her white sweatshirt. It smelled of baking cookies, grass, and some kind of wonderful perfume. She drowned herself in it, but would not let herself cry again. Ms. Lupin stroked her hair gently and kissed the top of her head.  
"Lily, do you know why she thinks that?" She asked.   
Lily was bewildered. Slowly she shook her head and lifted it to look at Ms. Lupin.  
"Maybe she blames herself. Maybe she thinks it is her fault her mom died. She blames it on Benny because it is logical to her to blame it on someone else to hide her guilt. Don't you say anything though. Just try and put yourself in someone else's shoes before you start a full-fledged war. Promise me?"   
She smiled at the girl.  
"I promise." She smiled back grateful.   
"So, why am I grounded?"  
"Well… You were provoked but also took bait. I say they even out if you don't do it again. Penny however…"   
She was interrupted by a shriek from the other room.  
"DADDY! VERNON WAS TAKING ME TO THE MOVIES TONIGHT!"  
Lily grinned. Ms. Lupin ruffled her hair and stood.  
"Shall I take care of those injuries for you Lady Knight?"  
"I can do it." Lily said. Ms. Lupin shook her head. Lily was far to used to fending for herself.  
"No, I'll do it."   
Rita walked out of the room and Lily lay back against a pillow. She soon returned with a basket of bandages. She applied antiseptic while Lily sucked in her breath. Rita smoothed her hair back.  
"Shush. It's okay." She soon bandaged Lily's arm, and Lily held an ice bag to her eye. Rita again put an arm around the lass.  
"Ms. Lupin?" She whispered.  
"Yes darling?" She cooed.  
"Can I call you mom?" She voiced what she had felt for a while now.  
"Yes darling. Of course." And as Lily lay against her mother's arm, she let the floodgates that had been so tightly shut for the past hour open.


	11. Reconciliation

Lily sat on the train to Hogwarts on September 1st, happier than she had been in a while. Her father and Rita 'Mom' were in seventh heaven on cloud nine. She felt sure something would come of it, and she knew her brother and Remus felt the same. With her father happy, the whole household felt better, and Lily felt herself change. She still had bad days, that's for sure, but they weren't as numerous as before and she got through them. Slowly with one step up and two steps back, Lily was rising out of her depression.   
She sat there gazing at the window, her mind on the trip and thus on her impending morhon sickness. Then, with sudden resolve, she stood and walked carefully over to where Gwen was sitting. She cleared her throat and the curly hair she was staring at revealed a face. When she saw who was standing there it turned her to stone.   
"What do you want?"   
"Can I sit down?"   
Gwen marked the place in her book and Lily sat wondering how she could read on the train. The very though made her queasy.   
"Gwen, I just want to say I'm... I'm sorry." She whispered as she moved to stand and leave, but Gwen put a hand on her arm.  
"Lily wait. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have apologized a long time ago. Like right after you left my house."  
"Well you said it, not me."  
"But you aren't about to disagree." Lily shrugged and her friend smiled.  
"I missed ya Lil."  
"Pas moi?" (Not me?)  
"Si, tu." (Yes, you)  
They laughed together and for the rest of the ride Lily forgot about her motion sickness. She remembered, however, at the sight of the rickety carriages, Hogwarts wasn't the place for people who got motion sick. She held her breath the entire time.   
Not much changed at Hogwarts that year. McGonagall still hated her, and Dumbledore still knew all. There was one change however, and that was with Lily herself. Now, with her friends back, she was bubblier, more like her old self than she had been at the end of last year.   
Her truce with James was broken though when he went out for Quidditch and didn't have the time to help her. When he informed her of this, a long drawn out battle ensued.   
When Lily returned to her room after this she sat on her bed and Gwen looked up from her book.  
"You two are going to get married."   
Lily's jaw dropped, then she closed it and started laughing her head off.   
"I'm serious!" Gwen yelled over her friend's guffaws.   
"The way you fight. You know you love him."  
"I hate him. You know that."   
"My Gram always says you have to love 'em to hate 'em."   
Lily flopped back on her bed in an amazing impression of a dead faint.  
Benny only got sick twice that year before Christmas, and Lily never had to go home, Rita took care of him. Lily had her headaches twice that year but they weren't as intense. Since she didn't go home, her grades improved and her professors liked her. Not that she became a know-it-all, far from it. Mostly she didn't give answers in class preferring to express herself in essays.   
In October she found out something about Remus she never suspected. He had to leave the castle for something, and she heard him say to James that his mom was ill. Later she cornered him in the common room.  
"Rem, Rita isn't ill is she?" he avoided her gaze.   
"Erm… Well, you see…"  
"Remus, what is going on here?" She searched his eyes.   
"We'll probably be related soon. Tell me."  
"Okay Lily. My mom's telling your dad soon anyway. You see Lily… Erm… This is tough… See, I'm a werewolf."   
"You're a what?"  
"Werewolf. You see my dad was a werewolf, and when I was about two, I wandered out into the woods when he was out. Someone had left the door open, mom or Celeste, I don't know, but who ever it was it happened. I wandered out to where he stayed and well… he smelled me of course. In that state he couldn't know who I was and he bite me. My mom got me before he did any major damage, but I still had been bitten.  
"When my dad came around the next day and came home…. He saw what happened… And then he… He found a silver bullet… The same one that had killed my grandfather… And he killed himself."  
Lily gasped.   
"Oh Remus, I'm so sorry."   
He shrugged.  
"It's okay, really, it was a long time ago and now I just live with it. You know, change every full moon."   
"Did Celeste?"  
"Nah, she never got bitten. Apparently it's not an STD kind of thing either so my mom didn't get it. Just me, but money isn't the only reason mom works at the mall. The Wizarding World doesn't look kindly on people who marry werewolves."   
There was a clamor as James and Sirius ran into the common room from Quidditch practice.  
"Don't tell okay?" Remus whispered. Lily nodded.  
Later that night she lay awake thinking about what he had told her.  
_ 'So now werewolves are real too. What next, vampires?'  
'Never listen to Binnes do you? He was talking about that last week.'   
'Argh!! Go away!'   
In November, she was finishing up a report on the 345th goblin rebellion and was leaving the library when she was nearly tackled by Remus. She caught her balance on a nearby shelf. Remus was dancing around her...  
"Alright Ants-in-the-pants, what's going on?"  
"He did it!!"  
"Who did what?"  
"Your dad! He popped the question."   
Lily shrieked and threw her arms around Remus dropping her book, parchment and quill and earning a furious look from Madam Pince.   
They ran back to the dormitory and as they ran Lily was furiously calling out for Alec.  
__ 'Lily you okay?'  
'Yeah, in fact, I'm way more than okay! Guess what?'  
'McGonagall said something nice to you?'  
'Hell no. Like that'll ever happen. DAD AND RITA ARE GETTING MARRIED!!'  
'Do you think you're loud enou… WHAT THE…!! YAHOO!'  
Remus and Lily bounded on through corridors and upstairs. They were nearly in sight of the fat lady when Lily ran into something solid. When she looked up from the ground where she landed she nearly fainted. Standing above her was Professor McGonagall.   
"Erm… Hi Professor?"  
"Miss. Evans, what are you doing? Why are you and Mr. Lupin running about like young hooligans."   
Remus stepped in.  
"Well, you see Professor, it's like this…"  
"I believe I was addressing Miss. Evans Mr. Lupin."  
"Right Professor." He looked at Lily and shrugged.  
"Well…" She began… "You see, Remus just told me that his mom and my dad are getting married, and we were going to go tell everyone, so I guess I wasn't looking where I was going and…" She trailed off.   
"I see. Well then, Miss Evans, I will see you in detention." She then stomped off Lily watching her in disgust.   
"Want some help Lils?"  
"Yeah, thanks Rem."   
She took his hand and he pulled her up. They raced up to the Fat Lady and Remus shouted the password. They jumped through the hole and raced to their separate dormitories. After telling Gwen and shrieking with her best friend, she wrote a letter to her dad and a separate one to Rita.   
  
  
  
  
  
_


	12. Strange Happenings

Her detention was at eight the next night in the kitchen helping the houselves clean that night's dishes. She arrived early, not wanting to risk another detention. She got started right away and the houselves seemed to be glad for the help. At eight five the door opened again and in toppled…  
"Potter?"  
"Hello Carrot. That'd be me."  
"What are you doing here?"   
"Remember when Snape showed up for breakfast with pink hair, webbed feet, and his nose in a knot?"  
"Yeah. Wasn't that near Halloween?"  
"McGonagall took the cactus, and his ear was turned into as a personal insult."  
Lily almost laughed, but only a snigger escaped.   
"So what'd you do?"  
"Well, I was running to tell everybody 'bout my dad and Remus' mom, and I ran right into McGonagall, the OB-GYN."  
"OB-GYN?"  
"Old Broad Girl? Yeah, Never."   
James did laugh, and then they both busied themselves with cleaning. At about ten James spoke again.  
"Hey Carrot, my mom heard about the wedding from Remus' mom. They've been friends since they were at Hogwarts, and she wants to invite your family and Remus' family to stay with us over the honeymoon… She invited Gwen too…"   
Lily looked at him.  
"And you're okay with that?"  
"Well, yeah. I mean, I may not like you that much or anything but…well it'll only be for a few weeks, so…"   
"Well then, I guess that'd be cool."   
At midnight they walked back up to the common room with dishpan hands and Lily couldn't help thinking that James Potter might not be so bad.   
Christmas that year was rushed. Her dad was rushing about trying to make calls that had to be made way ahead of time.  
Rita was measuring them for dresses and suits bridesmaids for Celeste and Lily, a flower girl dress for Rose, a ring bearer suit for Benny. Alec and Remus would be junior ushers, and Ms. Potter was to be Rita's Maid of honor. Mr. Potter had asked an old college friend to be his best man.   
Even though the wedding was to be in June they were going crazy with preparations so they wouldn't be caught in a mad rush before the wedding.   
This tactic seemed to stress everyone, even more so that, in the end, Lily spent the whole vacation outside with the kids, trying to keep them from getting stepped on.  
Neither of the little ones understood what was going on exactly, and she had to explain a lot.   
Remus, Alec, and Lily almost spun onto the train two weeks later and Lily slept the whole ride. When they arrived, she was nearly jumped on by Gwen who had stayed over at the castle. She was weeping like crazy.   
"Gwen? What's wrong?"   
Lily, Alec, and the Marauders, as the boys had recently dubbed themselves, were crowded around her as they went through the portrait hole.  
"Oh Lil…" She sobbed.   
Lily hugged her and then led her to a chair.  
"Gwen, come on, tell me what's wrong?"   
"It's… It's… It's my Grandma… She was ki… Ki… Killed."   
Lily gasped.  
"Oh my god!!! Gwen! When'd you find out?" Her friend took a deep breath before she spoke again.  
"Little while before you got here. Got a letter. Brett's okay. Was at a friends."   
She spoke robotically and her eyes were blank. Lily helped her up and led her to the dorm. She went back into the common room and saw all of her other friends looking at her. Well, and James. They all looked at each other, unsure of what to do. In the end, they went to the teachers lounge and found Dumbledore.   
It seemed however that he already knew.   
"I was afraid of this." He told them. "Mrs. Prewet was a ministry worker a long time ago. Back when the man who is now powerful was just starting out."  
"Pardon me sir." James interrupted. "But I think I heard my dad say something this winter. Is the name Voldemort?"  
"Yes young James. It is."   
He sent Madame Pomfrey for Gwen and arranged for Brett to come to Hogwarts a few months early. He was to stay with a family in the village.  
Gwen showed up in classes two days later red-eyed but otherwise looking okay. She told Lily right off that she didn't want to talk about it, so they didn't.   
Not talking about it, though, made a huge barrier in the friendship. There was something looming between them. Gwen seemed too happy most times. She was usually bubbly, but now, it was too purposeful. It was obvious she was trying to cover up.   
Finally, in about April, Lily confronted her in the common room.  
"Gwen, Last year it was me who was withdrawn, but this year it's you. After I apologized I promised myself I wouldn't let anything get inside our friendship again, and now, I have to act on that promise. If you want to talk, I'll listen. If you don't, I'll be here. Just know it's okay to need someone."   
"Oh Lil, I'm so sorry."   
Then Gwen began to cry and Lily hugged her tightly. She cried for a while longer and then she started talking about her grandmother. The two stayed up and talked for hours.   
Exams were in May, and even though she had worked hard during the year, Lily spent weeks studying. She thought she was doing okay until she walked into the transfiguration classroom. She froze. On each desk was a small china cup. Everyone sat down and McGonagall spoke…  
"You will have one hour to turn these teacups into an exact replica of the flower that appears on it."   
'Oh GOD.'  
This would be no simple spell. To do this, you had to alter the spell to comply with the direction. Lily picked up her cup. It was covered with violets that had blue stems. She thought and thought, but all that would come to her was the spell to turn it into a pink flower.   
She kept thinking then remembered how to change something purple from charms. She decided that if nothing else would work she could combine the two along with the charm to turn something blue.  
She tried it and to her shock the cup began to morph into a purple and blue flower. It wasn't perfect but she believed that it would be enough for her to pass the test. Sure enough she ended up with a C in transfig.   
  



End file.
